year 2, semester 2: the return to blogging

I'm back writing on this beautiful and balmy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, with semester 1 of my second year of teaching tucked safely under my belt. Some wonderful changes that I've been enjoying this year include:

• A MUCH MORE RELAXED view of classroom management that allows me to enjoy the students for who they are, while keeping a classroom that has at least a small semblance of mutual respect.
• A larger staff of bright, creative individuals who bless and challenge me.
• A more challenging curriculum, which currently is reading Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer and discussing questions like Do we need people to survive? and Is money what you need to live a fulfilling life?

While I have found these changes to be a huge relief in my day-to-day experience, the difficulties of the early years of teaching still exist. I still struggle with keeping students accountable for their performance in class. I still fail to call parents and build relationships with them. I am still disorganized. And I still let my emotions at the end of the day dictate whether I should quit - or try again tomorrow.

Overall, though, I know I am improving as a teacher. And I know I am in a great school, with great kids. And I know, most importantly, that no matter how I feel at the end of the day, when the papers have settled and the classroom has quieted, that I have been given the ability to do this job. Not on my own - I learned that last year - but through the gentle words and steadfast love of the greatest Teacher any student could ask for. Only through Him am I able to do anything, let alone run a classroom and love on students.

As this semester begins, I remember Paul's words to Timothy:

"Now the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith." 1 Timothy 1:5

I don't have that pure heart, good conscience, or sincere faith all the time. I have to ask for them. They don't come naturally to me like laziness, performing at the minimum level, or growing bitter do. But when I come to school in the darkness of a winter's morning, with hymns playing on the radio and a fervent prayer in my heart, I get what I need to get out of the car, walk up the steps, and enter the building with peace and reassurance. I remember that I am dealing with souls, not just brains and hearts, who may need a gentle word or an affirming smile to break through the darkness in their lives. So I put my bag down at my desk, turn on the Smartboard, and wait in expectation for the chance to be salt and light.

Here's to a second semester of deep questions, quality discussion, and challenging reading. Here's to patience, consistency, and a love that does not change based on students' performance. Here's to goodness and mercy making their presence known at our school. I look forward to what awaits us.

"Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats

the end of year 1: reflections from students

My first year of teaching ended officially on Friday, June 10. When I think over some of the things that happened and the people I met this year, it's crazy to think it was all real.

I had students write me letters and fill out surveys. Here are some of my favorite responses to sum up this first year:

1) What did you learn this year?

"I learned to use polite words and read better." 7th grade boy

"I liked learning about propaganda through narcocorridos because not only did I learn about propaganda but I also learned about my country." 7th grade girl

"How to correct my writing, now it's better than it used to be." 7th grade girl

"I liked the personal narrative because you learn something new about yourself, you learn stuff that you don't remember and stuff." 6th grade boy

"I liked SSR because I like to read now." 7th grade girl

2) What should we read, watch, or learn about next year?

"Hangover 2, it's a funny movie." 7th grade boy

"More projects thank you." 6th grade boy

"I think we should read The Skin I'm In." 6th grade girl

"Locomotion got my heart!" 6th grade girl

"Little Women, The Secret Garden." 6th grade girl after my own heart :)

3) How can I improve as your teacher?

"Sometimes you would be too hard on us, but I loved how you teached (sic)." 6th grade girl

(I teached so well! Yikes...)

"You can improve by making it funner." 7th grade boy

(Sigh, see above...)

"Do more hands on activities." 6th grade boy

"GET the right person instead of getting everyone. Make all students get a note and put the person who did it." 7th grade boy

"When one person gets into trouble, then try not to stop everyone else from having fun. That just makes people upset." 6th grade girl

"Yell more! jk lol." 6th grade girl

"You sometimes couldn't control behavior. Be more strict." 6th grade boy

"I think you should take a little more time explaining. Instead of putting it on the board you should explain it." 7th grade girl

"I think it was kinda hard to learn. Try better next time." 6th grade boy

"TOO MUCH WORK" lazy and very smart 6th grade girl :)

And finally, a great suggestion to wrap up this blog post and this year:

"Have a great summer, take a cruise or something." 6th grade girl

(noted!)

week 40: s***, f***, d*** and spoken word

It's been a while since my last post (HA) so here's a 45-second wrap up of the past several weeks:

- A student from our school was expelled for gang-related activity that injured another student

- We took the Missouri MAP test and are still waiting on the results

- Our new staff for next year is complete and they seem pretty awesome

- We had the Science Fair in week 39

- Almost all students have their Worlds of Fun tickets for the last week of school

- We have 2 weeks of classes left as of tomorrow

- With help I started our very own AVMS writing club, the Inkslingers (not a tattoo parlor I promise)

It's the Inkslingers that I am writing about today.

The club came about during a typical Tuesday morning staff meeting with the principal and the core teachers in March. Next year, there will be tutoring time built into the school day, some of which will be used for academic tutoring and some of which will be used for clubs and organizations. This is thrilling for us AND the kiddos, because this year, outside of our amazing music program and a few valiant efforts at organized sports, there wasn't much available for the students as far as extracurriculuar opportunities. I, most definitely, jumped on the "novel" idea of sponsoring a writing club next year (pun!!!), with publishing opportunities, events, etc. However, as we were finishing our poetry unit in 6th grade LA, I realized that we just MIGHT have enough student interest to start our club THIS YEAR.

Tonight, we hosted one of my principal's amazing writing acquaintances as our first guest speaker. I'll be referring to her as Ms. El.

When Ms. El came into my room, I was stuck by how big she was - tall, wide, a commanding presence. Her head was shaved and she had the large kind eyes one would describe as soulful. While she got situated pulling up various poetry links on my computer, I lingered outside in the hallway. I was nervous, wondering how many students would actually stay today (tutoring has been a major fail as far as student retention this year). Faces of students flashed by me in the hallway and flitted through my mind. So many of them are creative, thoughtful, introspective writers, but only a few know this about themselves. I wanted those kids to be the ones to come today.

Sure enough, that's who showed up. All 6th graders except for 1 7th grade girl. 3 boys, 8 girls. Some have proved that they have a way with words, others have that interest in a place so deep that even they can't see it yet. While they rustled their cookie bags and slurped their Capri Suns, Ms. El took the floor and introduced herself. I can summarize her introduction in a few words: Intensity. Sass. Depth. Humor. The kids were completely drawn in right from the beginning.

She talked about being a feminist (we used Latin roots to determine the meaning of that word) then performed a poem called," S.O.S - For The Girls" or something similar. She raised her voice and lowered it, walked to and fro, shimmied her overabundant hips and signaled with her hands and fingers.

I watched the students as Ms. El performed. They were SO uncomfortable at first with her bold performance. I think it made them feel exposed. My theory is they are trying so hard, every day, to blend in with their surroundings, so that when they see a woman - an older woman - a very large black woman - putting herself in what seemed to them to be an uncomfortable position, they are thoroughly mystified and confused. Regardless of the trepidation written all over their little faces, Ms. El received a thunderous wave of applause at the end of her poem.

From there we discussed the purpose of performance poetry. Ms. El discussed its use as a tool to make political and social statements. I cut my eyes towards the kids, beginning to worry that this was going way over their heads. But no, they seemed focus. They were keeping up with her statements about being a minority, being a woman, and expressing that joy and frustration through poetry.

She managed to get one of the students to come up and stand with her. She asked the student to rap for us. Now this student is known as a rapper, I've seen her notebook where she keeps her raps. But, as middle schoolers are wont to do, the paralyzing fear of being in front of her peers overwhelmed her.

So the other students ducked their heads, averted their eyes, leaned back, turned away. Suddenly, the student found her rap. She performed it. We all clapped. The sudden flood of support for this one student nearly knocked me out. And her shining eyes as she sat down nearly brought me to tears.

Then Ms. El decided to show some poetry clips from YouTube. I was game, the kids were game. But my heart leapt into my throat when the language emerged. Here are just a few of the words that were performed by the slam poets on the clips she chose:

-vagina

-nigger

-shit

-damn

-fuck

-motherfucker

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything within me rebelled - my teacher sense were going haywire, my spiritual senses were tingling. I began to calculate how many irate phone calls I was going to receive from parents tomorrow. I wondered if I was aiding the spiritual darkness around my students by standing silently by while they engaged in this R-rated material.

But the amazing thing was, the students engaged with the language by examining it as a tool. Ms. El explained that "you have to take responsibility for your words." As a result, there was limited giggling once they heard these words. No one grimaced, smirked, or laughed. They just watched, listened, and discussed them at a distance. You must understand that when 11, 12, and 13 year olds do this, it's stunning.

I can not wait for our writing club next year. Now's the time for me to get back into the groove of being a practicing writer to prepare!

weeks 30-31: our own version of March Madness

Oh, folks. How unprepared I was for the onset of spring fever that came out of nowhere these 2 weeks and wreaked havoc on our school. Everyone is very thankful for the 2 days of spring break we'll all enjoy on the 28th and 29th.

The few days of brilliantly warm weather must have sparked some hysteria, because I feel like I've been kicking students out of my classes left and right.

I'm not the only one dealing with it. Our principal informed us that 4 kids actually left us this week. FOUR. As in: 3 were expelled for fighting and 1 withdrew (our sexual harassment ringleader from last semester).

Although it's terrible to have middle school students withdraw or be expelled, our school is already benefitting from the absence of these students. They were just causing us to expend way too much of our energy and taking our focus away from the rest of the students. I'm finding that while I agree with the fact that middle school students lack the brain development to make educated, mature decisions, they still definitely understand what they're doing (to some degree). This is especially true with repeat offenders.

Besides the bad news about our students, positive and interesting things are happening to get us ready for our next round of state testing. Students in each individual homeroom made T-shirts with slogans that they will wear when they take the test. My homeroom's slogan of choice is,"Failure is not an option." I'm a fan.

We had a poetry workshop last week, when a board member who is a police officer and a writer came to walk our students through writing a good poem about food. His humor and approachable introduction to poetry was received well by the students who attended. I purposely chose some talented writers as well as low ability students who I thought would benefit from the workshop. For the most part, students were into it, which is always neat to see.

On Friday the 25th we had the 2nd annual AVHS talent show and the first ever Battle of the Bands, which pitted the high school bands against our middle school band. I got asked to be a judge, which was CRAZY, because I barely read music and struggled to find different ways to say,"awesome!" or "not so good." The MS band came in 2nd behind one of the HS bands, but there wasn't much of a point difference there. Hopefully this means the HS bands will grow much stronger when our MS students, with their years of band experience, come to the high school!

Now we have April looming ahead, with zero days off, then May, then 2 weeks in June. We're rounding the corner toward the home stretch, with about 10 weeks left total. Here's to finding enough fun things to engage the students so we all don't succumb to spring fever!

weeks 24-29: stamps, sweetness, and saturday school

In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years. ~Jacques Barzun

Another summary! Sigh. Here we go, quick recap of the end of winter/beginnings of spring:

• In week 24-25, we began a NEW positive behavior system that revolved around self-inking stamps. Students keep their planners open on their desk during every class. They receive stamps from the teacher for all of the following, plus more: being on time to class, answering questions, following directions, taking the extra step to clean their area or help others, etc. At the end of each week, students can "buy" various privileges with their stamps like bathroom/dress down passes, eating lunch outside, a ticket to Worlds of Fun in May, etc. or they can "bank" their stamps with their Aztec homeroom teacher. Since then, we have seen a HUGE improvement in behavior across the board. Now the good kids are truly being rewarded, and some of them are racking up ginormous amounts of stamps. Our principal is frantically trying to find "big" enough privileges for some of these no-stamp-spenders by the end of the year!

• By the end of February, we had had a total of 10 snow days. TEN. I'm still waiting to hear what the state has decided on whether or not we have to make them all up. It's going to be a long spring anyway since our original last day of school was June 3. Now that we have all these days to make up - basically, we might as well just adopt a year-round school calendar at this rate. Unless the state will be merciful to us...here's hoping we don't go past June 6!

• We have had a breakout of drugs at the school. It's not clear who is selling and who is buying, but we are all watching any pairs or clumps of students vigilantly, especially if they seem to be passing anything to each other. We also have students drinking energy drinks that are actually depressants which mimic the effects of cough syrup. What pubescent male wants to take depressants?! At the very least it may be hero worship, at the worst, trying to offset the effects of stimulants. Knowing that my young students are exposed to drugs and are exposing each other to their dangers is stressful and heartbreaking.

• Spring fever is causing some turbulence to emerge among the students. The student who led the sexual harassment ring from last semester returned to school. He lasted for a week or two as far as good effort in class and respectful behavior. But now he is up to his old behaviors. Two students were suspended for fighting, 1 was suspended for directing sexually inappropriate comments toward female students, and 1 was suspended under mysterious circumstances. They're dropping like flies, and it's only March! We have 2 1/2 more months left...yikes...

• Parent-teacher conferences, round 2. This was in week 27 or 28. This time, I was the teacher that every single parent wanted to see, since many students were failing both my classes (homework, kids, do your homework!) and I also had NWEA test scores to share with parents. To quote a favorite YouTube video , "it's like one continuous stream of TALKING."

• My poetry unit took off like a marvelous rocket - these 6th graders are born writers. Some moreso than others, but for the most part everyone is willing to try their hand at poetry. We tried an activity I'd read about in college called "found poetry" - I cut up a bunch of random song lyrics intro strips, mixed them all up in a bag, and had students draw 4 strips out of the bag to glue onto some cardstock. They came up with titles on their own. I was so impressed by their arranging of the lines that I made a display outside my room:

• The reasons for the quote at the beginning of this post: In weeks 27-28 I had a young lady (who is one of our strongest readers and most talented writers) share her personal poetry with me. I read it, gave her compliments and constructive criticism. Our interactions were not movie-moment gushy. At least I didn't think so. But later I received a pleasant surprise from this student that indicated how profoundly young teens are affected by an adult showing interest in them and giving them affirmation. This week, week 29), the student informed me that she had a poem she'd written about me as a gift. Here it is, a lovely acrostic poem that totally made my week:

• Another student used her stamps at the end of this week (week 29) to "buy" a special lunch with me for next week! This is a new privilege that the principal came up with for this week. It costs a considerable amount of stamps. This student who wants to eat lunch with me is extremely QUIET. Air circulating in an empty classroom makes more noise than she does. Also, I have seen her smile once this school year. And that was a thin, close-lipped smile. We have not interacted that much, certainly not as much as I've interacted with other, louder students. Yet she wants to spend time together one-on-one next week. I literally can't wait for the chance to spend time with her and see past her serious facade.

• One of science teacher Ms. B's guinea pigs, Alvin Theodore, passed away in week 29. :( SO SAD!!! Ms. B and several students had an impromptu funeral outside the school. Most students showed appropriate serious respect - however, a few 6th graders did see the lighter side of the situation. One left a note on the secretary's desk that said, "I would like to apologize to Alvin Theodore for naming you after a chipmunk when you are a guinea pig." When instructed to write a poem about the passing of the guinea pig, here's what one student came up with: "Roses are red, the guinea pig is dead."

• And the final addition to the update: Saturday School. We decided to have 2 intensive MAP-preparation (another state test - sigh) Saturdays this semester. The first one happened today, March 12, and it was Language Arts skills that we targeted. Six teachers (including me) committed to teach six topics: root words, summarizing, inferences, context clues, figurative language, and writing constructed responses. I wrote lesson plans for 2 while the other LA teacher and our SPED teacher wrote the other 4. Each one was planned to last app. 25 minutes so the students could rotate between the teachers/topics and not get burned out. It was stressful preparing for this - I do not consider myself a good skill-targeted instructor, so it was difficult to fit lessons with input, practice, and authentic learning into 25-minute chunks. It took me too long to plan it and I tried unsuccessfully not to be stressed all the way through Friday evening.

• I knew I would get paid for Saturday School no matter the outcome, so I was prepared to put on a happy face when I walked into the building this morning. What I was not prepared for was how GREAT Saturday School would be. All of the students we asked to come, came. All 22 of them. Fresh-faced, even if pajama-clad. Ready to learn, even though it was the weekend. I had no idea how much FUN it would be to spend 25 minutes at a time with tiny groups of them - only 2-4 students at a time. I was amazed by how quickly the time passed. I may show up for next week's math-focused Saturday School, it was that great!

Spring is near, Daylight Savings Time is tomorrow, soon nature will start showing tangible growth and hopefully my students will, too. :)

week 23: "how are we supposed to know this?

I had a joint observation this week from my principal and the high school principal. I thought they were coming to my reading class, but something convinced me the night before my JO that I needed to revamp the language arts lesson plans. So I stayed up 2 hours later than normal to change everything around. I went to bed fussy, got up in the morning and went to school, only to have the principals walk in to my most challenging LA class of 21 low ability, LOUD students! Good thing someone (aka the Lord) nudged me into spicing up my plans!

Everything went fairly smoothly (for that class) - but we were making posters and spent too long getting situated and putting away supplies. All of a sudden I realized I only had 12 minutes to cover about 15-20 min worth of our novel study. Sooooooooooooo...I had a split second decision to make. Go ahead with the novel stuff and not expect much? Or, quickly come up with something else?

Being one to fold under pressure, I decided to plow ahead with our novel study. I was frustrated, the kids were frustrated, but I wasn't prepared for what happened at the very end of class. When I asked students if they had any questions, one boy raised his hand and asked, "How are we supposed to know this?"

Right. In front. Of the two principals. BLURGH.

I had never felt so ridiculous and embarrassed in my life. I acquiesced that he had a point, explained that we would finish it during our next class, and somehow sent them on their way/finished the school day.

One goal for next year: improve my timing so I can get to everything I need to. Also: don't call on any smart-aleck kids when the principals come to observe. :)

snow days = catching up on the blog, weeks 8-23, YIKES.

Well...the inevitable happened. I let life get in the way of keeping my blog updated about school happenings. Here's a quick recap of weeks 8-23 (!!!!!!!!):

• Week 8: My birthday was on Tuesday and I learned a lovely lesson: our students LOVE BIRTHDAYS. I was serenaded at least 3 times by different groups of students. Not just "Feliz Cumpleanos," but also this little ditty: http://gomexico.about.com/od/historyculture/qt/mananitas.htm I received several handmade cards, which are all decorating my wall by my desk. Adorable and so affirming. The crowning glory of the day was a surprise visit from my mom during my 6th hour Reading class. The students crowded around and said hi. One of them looked at my mom and said, "We're Ms. Branch's kids, so that makes you our grandma!" and gave her the HUGEST hug. Absolutely precious.

• Week 9: Funny that a wonderful week would be followed by a wretched one. This week was interesting because it was the Self-Esteem week. It didn't sit well with me to be preaching the world's doctrine of self-love and self-acceptance with my students. On one hand, they DO need to know they are beautifully and wonderfully made, just as they are. On the other hand, I am absolutely convinced that my generation and the following generations have been glutted to death concerning our wonderfulness. The result? An ego-driven view of life that culminates in entitlement and self-obsession. I see this all the more clearly as a teacher. Not just in my students, but also in myself. While they are aggressively countering my requests with "Why?", I am secretly fuming that they are not doing what I say. I take it personally, as an affront against my very self. Whoops.

• Week 10: This week we began our Scary Story Contest. My students' definition of scary stories? Clowns. La Llorona. Murder, blood and gore, complete with makeup. Yikes.

• Week 11: We started our Behavior Card system this week. Basically, students have 5 symbols on their cards and they get new cards each week. During the week, they can get their cards hole-punched for various things including but not limited to: tardies, untucked shirts, shouting out in class, being disrespectful, no homework, etc. Some students are thriving on this, others lose all 5 symbols on Monday before 3rd hour.

• Week 12: 6th graders finished their Holes projects and my Aztec planned their testing goals for May. The prize for the class that meets their class goal (ours is that 60% of us meet our individual goals) is a free trip to Worlds of Fun in May.

• October-early November: I attempted to run National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) with my students. One success: middle schoolers are a great age for this project - full of creativity and interest in participating, yet mature enough to handle it. One failure: I quickly learned that I did not plan for the process of keeping track of novels, editing novels, or publishing novels. The result: many students lost or destroyed their work and only a few came away with an electronic file of their story. Also, 2 laptops were stolen and I am shamefully admitting that they were most likely stolen under my watch.

• Thanksgiving Break to end of the semester: During this time I was made aware of the hormonal filth going on in adolescent boys' minds: I was poked in the rear by a male student from my homeroom during their reading class. It was one of three suspects who I turned my back to while speaking to another student, and I never found out who did it. But when I took those three students outside and shakily yelled at them for sexual harassment, the wonderful Christian man who is our orchestra teacher happened to be in the hallway. He went straight to the principal and she proceeded to see every student from my homeroom until the truth came out: We had a ring of boys who were playing a game involving levels of dares of a sexual nature directed against the teachers.

They had poked another teacher besides me and had actually poked me once already (at the time I blamed my clumsiness since I often bump into students while moving between rows).
A camera phone had been used to look up yet another teacher's skirt. Sexual gestures had been made behind many of the female teachers' backs and sexual comments had been muttered under their breath.

The student at the center of all this turned out to be one who was generally regarded as "dead weight" in the classroom: he refused to do work unless coaxed, prodded, dragged or threatened (meaning Mom would have been called) through assignments. He had a lot mroe going on underneath his vacant demeanor than anyone would have thought. With a known active gang member for an older brother, he was coercing the male students into this sexual game by threatening them with physical punishment at the hands of his brother and "friends" if they did not participate.

That student was suspended for about 40 days. Two other students were suspended for 5 days. My entire homeroom of burly boys was split up and sent by ones and twos to other homerooms. In exchange, I received many more girls. Now the gender dynamics in my homeroom are evened out and I like this new group much more.

Now for some stream-of-consciousness updates to bring us to now:

• High schoolers came and read books with the middle schoolers (thus, the new picture that headlines my blog). This was one of the sweetest days I've ever had as an educator so far. I was close to tears for most of the hour as I watched students reading, shyly, with their older partners, smiling and interacting with each other.
• I was given the opportunity to choose what I wanted to teach next year at AVMS. I chose 4 sections of 7th grade LA, and I believe I will be teaching 2 sections of Advanced Writing, or at least 1 section of that with a reading class rounding out my schedule. I am thrilled to have those marvelous 6th graders be some of my students again next year.
• We found out that we will be DOUBLING in size, from 99 students to around 200. We are still looking for a new building and it's possible we have one.
• I took on the Tutoring Coordinator position for extra hourly pay. At our school, parents and students must sign a contract stating that they understand that tutoring is mandatory if their student is requested by a teacher. My job is to make sure every teacher requests students for tutoring each week and that they update a Google doc with the day they are tutoring, the students they will see, and the priority of their tutoring session. I also make sure students get snacks to keep their brain running and work with our Parent Liaison to follow up on students who "forget" about tutoring.
• SIX. SIX SNOW DAYS IN JANUARY 2011, WEEKS 22 AND 23. I am now understanding the boon and the bane of being a teacher in the urban core: with buses unable to handle snowy side streets and students not always having reliable warm clothing, our schools are much more apt to close than others. Our school and the public schools whose weather policies we follow will possibly still be in school come August. Oh well, carpe diem for now, right?

I, Ms. Branch, do solemnly promise to update weekly or at least biweekly on teaching during this spring 2011 semester, so that I can quit writing ridiculous posts like this one and also so I have a record of the joys of "flying the plane while building it" (as our superintendent described this first year at our school).