week 7: testing drives us all insane

"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?" Confucius

"Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power." Clint Eastwood

We are FINALLY done with our fall round of NWEA testing! Wahoo! I am not sorry to say goodbye to testing, although I will miss the chance to watch movies all morning...we saw 3 last week: "The Karate Kid" (the ORIGINAL, which has Ralph Macchio in it, who I recognized primarily from "The Outsiders"), "James and the Giant Peach," and "Stand and Deliver" (which is my NEW favorite teaching movie - inspiring, sappy but with great acting).

I met with the Reading Specialist at the high school on Friday. We're almost 7 weeks in to the school year, but I've been having great feelings of trepidation about the reading classes. Since I have the 6th graders for LA as well as Reading, it's been an odd thing trying to keep the classes separate but equal. Not only that, but now that we have seen our NWEA scores, it's official how low the general reading skills are in our student population.

Now that I see what lies before us, I am overwhelmed, but feeling more prepared to organize the amorphous mass of information called Ms. Branch's Reading Class. It's so nice to have a principal that is not asking me to move a mountain but rather provide proof of progress.

Speaking of progress - I have apparently made none in the area of "creating an environment of respect and rapport." A frequent troublemaker threw a massive spitball (2 " wide) onto my Smartboard on Friday. I was so appalled and angry that I know I did not act very Christlike - I kicked him out and another kid who was being disrespectful, then I made the rest of the class write a definition of respect for the classroom and write a word of advice to me for making our classroom a respectful place.

My principal is so tired of seeing the same guys from my class that she announced to these students that any more visits from them to her office will result in a 1 day suspension, no questions asked or discussion allowed.

It is so discouraging to me that I can't think of ways to build respect and kindness into my classroom. All I can think to do is arrive early this week and pray over each desk and each student who will sit there. I need the Lord to show up in my classroom this week.

In other news: I have created a Notewriting Hall of Shame in the teacher's coffee room. So far we have 5 notes hanging up (out of reach of students' eyes of course) and I anticipate there will be many more. Like the multi-hued break up letter from my last post. That one's going front and center. Keeping notes is valuable for several reasons: to inject a little humor into our daily lives, to show us how students actually communicate with one another, to remind me about what communication skills we should tackle in reading class, etc. (I mean, if somebody has to read a break up letter from their middle school love, they should at LEAST be able to get through it quickly instead of painfully trying to decipher the writing!) Pictures soon!

week 6: conviction and stealing notes from students

"The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." - William Arthur Ward

Quick highlights from weeks 4 and 5:

• Week 4: The main water pipe at AVMS broke, resulting in much drama as our principal tried to figure out if we could still have school that day. She came up with the following arrangement: after lunch,all the kids who needed to use the bathroom would HOP ON THE BUS and drive ACROSS TOWN to a community center who would allow them to use their restrooms and then return to school. The majority of my lunch class went on the 1st bathroom bus, leaving me with 6 students to entertain with riddles for 40 minutes. Hilarious.
• Week 5: Honeymoon period = officially over. A student literally escaped from school in order to avoid P.E. Just walked right out the back door and started walking home through the city. One of the teachers' landlords spotted him and called us. 20 minutes later, we had him safely back. First suspensions this week for fighting, 2 from kids who I wouldn't have expected to be suspended and 2 from kids I DEFINITELY expected.

This week we have NWEA testing,

the state test of Missouri that will confirm for us where our students rank as far as their abilities in reading, writing, and math. So far, so good. My Aztec students test tomorrow and then we will have 2.5 hour classes together on Wednesday and Thursday. Need to gather plenty of insightful activities for that precious group to keep them occupied in the business of becoming better humans.

I confronted an ugly truth about myself this week. Part of my difficulties with teaching stem from one-size-fits-most lesson plans - I have been trying to plan for the "Middle" level of ability in Language Arts, hoping that my high kids stay occupied and the low kids succeed. Instead, what has happened is tons of disengagement as low students give up or wait for me to drag them through while the high kids are bored to tears.

The state of my approach to plann

ing lessons has revolved around hoping, wishing, and defiance. Hoping, not planning, that students succeed. Wishing, not being proactive, concerning the value of my lessons. Defiance, because I am lazy and selfish and do not want to spend extra time creating modified lessons for both low and high students.

Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Why am I here if not to make learning about language and literature acceptable to everyone?

Talk about conviction. The truth is, nothing will change until I am physically and mentally prepared to plan for everything, rather than throwing things together on a single weekend day and calling it good. So within the craziness of this week, I will suck it up and start structuring these lessons better.

In other news, I picked up what may very well be the BEST NOTE I have ever taken from a student during class. Spanglish with a little bit of Spanish gangsta colloquialism thrown in for good measure:

"Dear Christian,

Jajaja srry pero I luv u pero I also love this boy in my school ese (tr: homeboy) Im not trying to brak up with you but also I dont want to lie to you I love you porque you sexy smart pero it's to hard to love 2 boys at the same time mijo (tr: my dear) poreso I want to ask you algo that If you realy loved me you woudnt say que we Aint goin out and all them lies borque if I was you I would not care wat people said about use 2 you now but tell me if you want sombody else oque cuz I cant make you like me Vato (tr: homeboy)"

Just one reason I love teaching middle school: passionate break-up letters with a woefully poor understanding of conventions. Maybe this week we'll do a notewriting assignment so that whoever reads their next break-up letter can stop wasting time trying to decipher the note and be broken hearted faster?

weeks 2 and 3: AZTEC PRIDE

This week marked some significant firsts:

• I got to use my Smartboard in class for the first time,
• My 8th hour Reading class made a classroom tweet for the first time (and consequently I have created a Twitter account for the school year, we'll see if I figure out what we can do with that),
• We had our first middle school assembly,
• Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand drum roll please - here are the first anonymous quotes of the week from AVMS students!

In order from hilarious to ROFL infinity:

3) The teachers were talking about a particular student they all adore, which 1 of us had never met. A meeting was arranged in which the student mentioned previously was sent to the teacher on a fake errand: to tell her his name and shirt size. Apparently the student waltzed into the teacher's room and boldly declared,

"Ms. _________! My name is __________, and I am an M!"

She had no idea what he was talking about, but now she knows who he is.

2) In another class, a student was flipping through a magazine for an assignment. He walked up to the teacher, pointed at an advertisement for alcohol, and asked her,

"Do you do this?"

Her response: "Uhhhhh..."

His response: "Good!"

1) Same student came to my room at the end of the school day. He looks up at me and, in complete sincerity, asks,

"Ms. Branch...have you ever been stabbed?"

I respond with, "No...no I haven't."

I wait for more.

20 seconds later, he says, "Oh, well, I was just wondering...because I have."

Later I found out the stabbing incident involved a female bully and the business end of a sharpened pencil in the shoulder.

But in all seriousness, the first assembly of AVMS was fantastic. Our principal led the group in a serious discussion of achievement and being college-bound. She even started pointing at kids in the audience, asking, "Where are YOU going to college?" Some of the kids had answers: Harvard. Park University. Mizzou. (No K-Staters yet, but I'll keep praying!)

(I'm finishing this post from last Saturday on a rainy Thursday morning, the 2nd day of September in the year of our Lord 2010)

Then my principal had each class stand up: the 7th graders first.

The class of 2016.

I turned around in my seat and watched as my Aztec (homeroom) class of 18 stood up. All those burly boys, some with swagger and some on the shy side.

(When we have our schoolwide Aztec dodgeball tournament, we will crush everyone. LITERALLY.)

Then there were my 3 girls, the minority in our group. All banded together against the tide of testosterone.

All of these students dear to me already after just 2 days together.

I looked in the faces of these students growing into young adults, and my heart swelled with pride. After only 2 days of being with them, they had stolen my heart. I got teary just looking at them, although they were only standing for a few seconds.

The best part is, none of them know how great I think they are.

Hopefully soon, I can start showing it.

______________________________

Week 3 has been marked by serious failure and serious success. I had a moment on Tuesday where everything seemed insurmountable. My plans weren't ready, I was freaking out, and a snowball of accusing thoughts was growing in size and gaining in speed, rushing toward a meltdown.

Then on Wednesday, I had one of the smoothest days ever - activities timed out mostly right, transitions were smoother than before. It's amazing how one day can seem so bleak while the next turns out to be just fine. I'm sure this is a reminder from the Lord to quit letting me emotions have a say in my success.

So tomorrow is College Colors day. Perfect timing since K-State football starts on Saturday! Although do I really care?...no. But an opportunity to brag on my college is always fun. So I'll leave you with some wise words:

BE PROUD. BE PURPLE. GO STATE.

week 1: flexibility and adjustments

"Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself." -Chinese proverb

Although the title of this post no doubt applies to the first week of many teachers across the world, I think I can safely say I own it. Here's why:

Our middle school is brand new this year. We accepted incoming 6th and 7th graders with enrollment capping at 50 per grade. The 7th grade enrollment filled up 2 weeks before school, so our principal sent out the word that 7th grade was closed, but 6th grade was still accepting enrollment.

So on the first day of school, we had students with a 6th grade schedule coming up to us and saying, "I'm a 7th grader!" By mid-day we figured it out: About 20 students were enrolled as 6th graders when they were actually 7th graders. Because their parents wanted them at our school so badly that they lied about their grade level.

This meant that on Thursday, I received 3 new 7th grade classes: my homeroom, and 2 7th grade reading classes. SO now I have 6th and 7th graders this year! Which is great because I was beginning to really regret not having any when I saw them in the hallways, with their all-knowing smirks and self-assured swaggers.

Other things to deal with this week included not having Internet for most of the school days, and our technology was not hooked up. We all learned how to use our projectors so we could at least have Powerpoints going. But there are no laptops for students. Here's hoping that those show up by next month so we can get some Web 2.0 up in here.

But this week, although frustrating and overwhelming, was so beneficial: an exercise in patience and ingenuity, for sure. I give myself a B for overall teacherliness and the stunning display of dominance that came out of me when I met my new homeroom. Subduing a class of 18 students of 12-13 year olds, most of which were boys, is a rare feat indeed for someone who is not exactly a model of strict discipline...

Speaking of those boys - man, does my heart go out to them. All the students are adorable and funny in their own ways, but it's those boys that really get me. I am already mindful of the need to accumulate more books that are boy-friendly and to create more interactive lessons so they can move around and show their stuff instead of being forced to sit and listen to me for 90 minutes. I want to reach them. To show them that Language Arts is a guy-friendly subject, not effeminate or weak or stupid. This 2nd week I hope to get started on that. Again, I can only do so much before the students have to decide for themselves if they want to learn. There's enough going for these kids that, if they can just recognize their potential, hopefully a fire will be lit and they'll do their very best to learn. We will see.

thoughts before the first day of school (in 2 days!)

Tonight my roommate and fellow teacher is making Silly Putty as a practice run-through before she has her students do it in science class next week. It's a trial and error process involving Elmer's Glue-All (very specific), liquid starch, with red food coloring for an added bonus. After the 4th attempt, with pink goo scattered across our sink and staining her hands, she looked up at me and exclaimed, "I hate this already!" We laughed...but it does make me think...

It all goes down on Monday, August 16 - the first day of school at AVMS. We will arrive each day in our finest professional dress (except for Casual Fridays). We'll practice our opening speeches and all our activities (like the Silly Putty example) so we get everything crystal clear. We'll hang out in our classrooms as the students arrive for breakfast and talk with them so they know we care. Yet we'll constantly go over class expectations while furtively attempting NOT to smile before Christmas so we can build a supportive and firm school culture.

There will be nights that go late without sleep so we can get that lesson adjusted for all students to have learning within their grasp. There will be an internal meltdown or 10 before the school year is over as we try to juggle all the complexities of teaching. I know for a fact that my new classroom rug will soon be doing double duty as a prayer space during the week. I need God to be able to move through me and bless these students with words of grace and truth

But there will also be those times when students have that "aha!" moment. And let me tell you: those are some of the most beautiful and exhilarating things you could ever see. It is that kind of moment that reminds me why I'm doing this.

I'm completely terrified about Monday, of course. As I wait for the day to arrive and do last minute things to get ready, it's hard to fight the nagging whispers of the enemy that constantly encourage me to give up. Or that want me to believe I can't teach these kids.

The great thing is, it's true - I can't teach these kids. At least, not solely on my own strength. The only way I can do it is to do my darndest while committing them to the Lord faithfully. To let Him fill me up with knowledge of Him, His love, and His truth, so I can let it slosh over and splash these kiddos when they're in my presence. I will still fail to love them perfectly or teach them flawlessly, but I can be okay with that if He's the one in control...and if I'm getting back up to try again after the failures.

So here's to literacy, word walls, anchor activities and novel studies...to believing that stories connect humans across time and experience...to connecting these students with new ideas and helping those ideas blossom into permanence...to being a vessel of light and truth to these students so that, maybe, they feel a tug to pursue the One who knows them best.

Let's get it started... :)

subbing blues...or, the beauty of a calm classroom

Despite being on a substitute list that is 500+ strong, I have still managed to get several jobs this semester. Maybe the testing season was particularly frustrating this year, resulting in more teachers desperately needing to use up their personal days this spring. whatever the reasons, I and my checking account are glad to be the beneficiary of their flights from the classroom.

As a sub, your day is always interesting. You have several variables to deal with the moment you walk into a school building:

1. You usually don't know the school building.
2. You usually don't know the kids.
3. The teacher's plans may - or may not - actually fill each hour.
4. Kids like to test you to understand your boundaries as the sub.

I learned this the hard way yesterday.

Up until recently, I've been a classic lenient sub. I mostly use verbal corrections to get kids back on track. But if any of them ignore my correction, or give me the look that says, "Make me, why dontcha," I've been slow to act and hesitant. Letting things slide when they could use some interference.

Yesterday a kid used language inappropriate for school - after a warning. I wasn't especially offended, but the principle I have for language is: 1 warning, then the office. So I sent a kid to the office - and I walked him down there, feeling HORRIBLE the whole time.

Discipline sucks. Especially when you realize that the kid you're sending to the office is not a troublemaker. I don't get how teachers, let alone parents, do discipline consistently, but a good friend gave me some quality books on classroom management so I hope to learn about it from them.

23 Things: Reading Edublogs

• The Myth of the Digital Native by "Chris," from Betchablog (1/6/2009)

It's often been suggested that, if you were born in the 1980s or later, that you are a "digital native" who should be fluent in multiple technologies. It's also been suggested that if you are part of any generation other than Gen-Y, that you are a "digital immigrant" in need of major help to acquire any technological understanding.

However, this blog post suggests that just because today's students have been around multiple technologies for years does not make them experts on those technologies. Chris cites multiple examples of Gen-Yers that he has encountered who only understand the basics of technology. An encouraging read for anyone who is unsure of their ability to learn technology because they are "older," and a challenging read for those who wish to implement technology in their classroom.

• Why I Don't Assign Homework by Dan Meyer from dy/dan (3/7/2007)

Interesting thoughts on why homework is unproductive...many of which I agree with the author on. But I'm not sure if it's always a good idea to NOT give homework. Won't students some day have a job that requires them to complete long-term projects in a timely manner? Or won't many students go to college and THEN be confronted with homework?

Could we be teaching helplessness by not, occassionally, assigning homework?

• Patrick's Update by "Patrick," from JHH students blog (2/17/2005)

This is a student's blog, run by what I assume is a school or an individualized blog group for students. Patrick wrote about his desire to pass 5th grade, even though an older brother had told him he wasn't smart enough to pass. I don't know how the teacher worked out the comment system for this blog, but several adults (and even students!) commented on Patrick's post. Lots of encouragement for this young writer!

• One Family's Story of Survival by "Carleigh," from A Really Different Place (1/19/2009)

Here is another student blogger who wrote about the plane that crashed in the Hudson River in January 2009. This blog seems to be a good example of student writing - apparently the writers are not just in one classroom but come from all over the country.

• How to Prevent Another Leonardo Da Vinci by Kris Bradburn from Wandering Ink (5/23/2007)

This post is the most provocative of all the blogs I've read today. Kris laid out the post in the order of 10 traits belonging to Leonardo Da Vinci, according to the book How to Think Like Leonardo DiVinci.

The basic position Kris takes is that modern education kills creativity and innovation. I don't want to agree with this...but to some extent, I know this is true. The education system in this country is broken. It's testingtestingtesting all the time. In most school systems, teachers just don't have the flexibility to create a better educational experience. Or, honestly, they don't have the energy and time to build a Da Vinci-friendly classroom.

Yes, we need to do as much as we can to inspire students by applying their interests and talents to the curriculum. But at the same time, let's be fair and realize that the small steps teachers take to build a better educational experience DO COUNT, even if they can't overthrow the system.

drum roll please...

I GOT A TEACHING JOB!!!

After a phone interview and a demonstration lesson, I will be the 6th grade Language Arts and Reading teacher at Alta Vista Charter School for the 2010-2011 school year!

This school serves a 97% Latino population from the KCMO school district. The school was only for grades 9-12, but this fall, they are bringing in a brand new class of 6th graders to start a middle school.

On my agenda:

1) continue Web 2.0 experience

2) re-learn Spanish

23 Things for Web 2.0

Mark Fox from TheTeachersHub tweeted about a single school's initiative to invite their teachers to explore the wide and wonderful world of Web 2.0 via a list of 23 "things." I don't think I've really recorded much about Web 2.0 so far in the life of this blog, so I think this is the perfect opportunity to do just that. I'm a few weeks late though, whoops. Here's to catching up with all my free time that I enjoy so blissfully...

Thing #1 of the 23 Things Project is - Blogging. :) The assignment is to create a Blogger account (check), create a blog (check,) choose your template (check). Now for the questions, to be answered in post form:

Q1) Why am I participating (from a distance) in the 23 Things Project?

A) See the above statement regarding Web 2.0 and the purpose of this particular blog.

Q2) What interests me about Web 2.0?

A) Teaching, as I know it on from both sides of the desk, is an art that ought to be constantly evolving to meet the needs of the students. Today, this means walking that fine line between entertainment and engagement. It means competing with iPods, YouTube, Facebook, Myspace, the Internet in general, TV and radio for students' attention - which, sometimes, can be done by pointing out exactly how Beyonce's new song expresses the theme of the novel we're reading in class, or by making Facebook pages for the characters from the short story unit.

But this kind of creativity and "fun" teaching is so much easier said than done in a culture of standardized tests that requires proof of proper performance to determine who passes and who fails (i.e., who gets funds and who doesn't). When we are so pressed and harassed by that urgent need to make sure as many students as possible understand as much as possible about English literature as quickly as possible, and all in time for the test, who really has time for this Web 2.0 stuff?

And yet. It can be done. I think starting small is the key. Like that Facebook page idea. A poster project. Clear requirements about the information needed. Time to work on it in class and share it with everyone. A billboard or wall devoted to the end results.

Web 2.0 is about connections. And in a time when students are more connected than any other generation of human beings have ever been before, Web 2.0 is the set of tools that fits them and their learning needs. It's up to the teachers to dig in and experiment to find out what is out there that can be put into a student's hands to help her build a bridge to connect ideas.

In conclusion, the tools I am interested in are:

• Classroom wikis that students add information to periodically during class throughout the school year.
• A class blog with updated entries that students must reply to for homework.
• Podcasting or creating a VoiceThread to compile students' reviews of a book, story, or unit, or even a project, while having a little fun.
• Photo or slideshow animation to jazz up those important Powerpoints or Keynotes.
• Google Tools, like using Google Earth to create Google Lit Trips, where students can actually map out significant places on the globe from stories we read in class.
• My Mac software, like iPhoto, iMovie, and GarageBand, which I would love to use frequently in my future classroom to jazz things up a bit.

I'm so excited about this 23 Things Project because I still feel like I have a long way to go to competently use these tools. Fortunately, in this case, being unemployed is a benefit - I can spend the next several days brushing up on what I do know and adding to my arsenal what I don't know yet. Hooray!

In the words of the indomitable Black Eyed Peas, "Let's get it started. Ha!"

possible jobs + contagious encouragement

Good news...although this is a poor economy for new teachers to enter, and high schools all around the area are cutting more teaching positions this year, there are still schools hiring here and there. I have been learning about God's provision and personal flexibility. He is going to bring me opportunities, but they may not look like what I thought I would pursue for my first year teaching job.

For example, I am currently working on a lesson plan for an interview for a 6th grade Language Arts position - and I am getting more excited by the day. On Feb. 9 i get to teach this lesson plan to some students and then we'll see what happens...

Also, today I had coffee with a good friend from college, and we spent the bulk of our time together emphatically discussing how great it would be if she became a high school theatre teacher. It's so great to see people catch on to teaching, especially when it's obvious how great they would be as teachers.

So, here's to trying out new things and continuing the job hunt.

thoughts on Haiti

*Quick sidenote: please pray about giving to support aid to Haiti! Here are at least 3 reputable organizations that you can trust to care for the Haitians' physical AND spiritual needs during this disaster: WorldVision, Compassion International, and Samaritan's Purse.

As news coverage of Haiti continues to provide updates in the wake of the earthquake, I find myself wondering again how power and wealth reside in some countries, but not in others. Apparently I'm due for an Anth 200 review of world history and the World Simulation.

I'm also wondering: How does God feel about the state of poverty in the world, particularly countries like Haiti?

Based on Scripture and what I know of His nature (the very little I know), I assume it breaks His heart far more than it could ever break ours. In Psalm 12, David writes about the oppression of the poor by wicked people. In verse 5 God speaks suddenly: " 'Because of the oppression of the afflicted and the groaning of the poor, I will now rise up,' says the Lord. 'I will put in a safe place the one who longs for it.' " These two sentences show so much about God's awareness of the effects of poverty and His compassion towards those caught in it.

It's times like these, when news of the world's hurt touches our hearts, how true it is that the only One who can fix the mess is Jesus Christ. Emergency aid helps, donations help, education helps (of course I believe in this since I plan to be an educator myself), community programs help. But ultimately, all that help falls short of a person's real need: to find purpose in getting lost in the story of God for His glory.

I began following Samaritan's Purse on Twitter and saw this for myself:

BHMhaiti

@SamaritansPurse chaplains have led 5 ppl to the Lord in our hospital today. God is moving even in the desperation that surrounds #Haiti. (about 3:30 pm)