THINGS I'VE LEARNED LATELY, OR, THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
The Good:
1. Some students will like you, not because they think you're a great teacher or you're really cool - they'll just like you. This can mean a lot when you aren't sure how well you're connecting to other students or how good your lessons are.
2. Constant criticism is sometimes given by people who want you to toughen up and meet your potential.
3. Seeing students grow has become the goal and joy of my teaching. The rapport between me and them is also wonderful.
The Bad:
1. There's a lot more to memorize and remember than I thought.
2. Nobody ever tells you in college about handling students' papers and materials, or about getting procedures down. This is something you get to experience firsthand.
3. You WILL have to teach grammar, and they WON'T teach you how in college, so you have to learn on the fly.
The Ugly:
1. It's more important to get less-exciting lessons planned for a month or more than it is to plan on the fly as great ideas come to you. The latter method of planning will kill your spirit with stress!
2. I absolutely hate receiving passive-aggressive disapproval. And I've been getting it a lot with one teacher.
Hard to believe that I am going to be done full-time teaching in 2 1/2 weeks. After that I get to co-teach for a few days, then visit other classrooms to observe other teachers, and then I'll graduate. The graduation stuff came in the mail yesterday, and looking over those Powercat-emblazoned graduation announcements, I could feel that my parents were very proud of me. Another little thing that means a lot.
THE DEATH - OR REFOCUSING - OF IDEALISM
My best friend Katie wrote about a change in her perception of idealism last week. It's a timely post, especially as I've found that I am developing a more realistic way of looking at education.
During this student teaching semester, my romantic notions of teaching have been revealed to be a thin veneer of icing on top of a rock-hard cake of reality.
All the cool lesson ideas I gleaned from the Internet? Impossible or difficult to apply to the classrooms I've had.
My goal of implementing so much cool technology it would rock my students' worlds? Only 1 assignment, to make a Facebook page for a short story character, came close. And that was done on paper, not Facebook itself. (Although I will be learning to utilize some neat software called Beyond Question next week, through which I hope to get more tech in my teaching before I'm no longer the lead teacher.)
My dream of students loving me? HAHA. Most are tolerable of me, which is a bigger deal than I thought it would be, and a few do seem to genuinely like me. But all of a sudden, it's no longer such a need for me to have students think I'm more happening than Bella and Edward put together. Instead, it's more important that they have enough stuff to do and that the stuff is relevant.
To be idealistic is to believe fervently in the hope that people will change. For me, the idealism includes:
- nurturing the next generation of great novelists and newswriters;
- bringing students who can barely sound out words to a point where they can read and comprehend grade-level text on their own;
- directing students' hearts and minds toward the people and situations in their lives who can most benefit from their compassionate attention;
- and, most importantly, shedding light on the Truth that I know is present in the good works of literature that Westerners revisit again and again.
It's amazing how quickly my sympathies for these kids fizzled to the point that I was having to lay aside their actions and force myself to care about them. I never saw that coming. It's those kids who refuse to do even the simplest assignment; who boldly mouth off to you; who can't quit talking to or harrassing their classmates even for a few minutes; who sit and stare into space while their grade quietly swirls down the drain. I have come to this part of the semester more realistic about loving kids - it's an act of the will sometimes.
Perhaps the biggest lesson I have learned this semester is that the idealistic views I hold about everything must be tempered by reality - particularly with teaching. But I still think once I get into the rhythm of establishing my classroom as a place to learn and grow, learning and growth will happen, and these idealistic hopes and dreams may come true, even if just for one student. In which case, the belief and endurance of idealism will have proved to be so very worth it.
LOOKING AHEAD
This coming week, I will apply for my first year teaching license. It's called an initial/conditional license. The emergency sub license should be on its way next month and then I'll receive the REAL license in January.
I've nearly completed 3 applications for employment in the "big 3" districts. The part I'm waiting on is references, because I am hoping and praying for a positive reference from one of the school principals next week. I have 2 observations by the principal and 1 of the associate principals on the SAME DAY. YIKES!
Looking forward to: applying for my license, finishing these last 2 units so things can wind down, seeing my sister in Springfield this weekend. Joy.
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