year 2, semester 2: the return to blogging

I'm back writing on this beautiful and balmy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, with semester 1 of my second year of teaching tucked safely under my belt. Some wonderful changes that I've been enjoying this year include:

• A MUCH MORE RELAXED view of classroom management that allows me to enjoy the students for who they are, while keeping a classroom that has at least a small semblance of mutual respect.
• A larger staff of bright, creative individuals who bless and challenge me.
• A more challenging curriculum, which currently is reading Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer and discussing questions like Do we need people to survive? and Is money what you need to live a fulfilling life?

While I have found these changes to be a huge relief in my day-to-day experience, the difficulties of the early years of teaching still exist. I still struggle with keeping students accountable for their performance in class. I still fail to call parents and build relationships with them. I am still disorganized. And I still let my emotions at the end of the day dictate whether I should quit - or try again tomorrow.

Overall, though, I know I am improving as a teacher. And I know I am in a great school, with great kids. And I know, most importantly, that no matter how I feel at the end of the day, when the papers have settled and the classroom has quieted, that I have been given the ability to do this job. Not on my own - I learned that last year - but through the gentle words and steadfast love of the greatest Teacher any student could ask for. Only through Him am I able to do anything, let alone run a classroom and love on students.

As this semester begins, I remember Paul's words to Timothy:

"Now the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith." 1 Timothy 1:5

I don't have that pure heart, good conscience, or sincere faith all the time. I have to ask for them. They don't come naturally to me like laziness, performing at the minimum level, or growing bitter do. But when I come to school in the darkness of a winter's morning, with hymns playing on the radio and a fervent prayer in my heart, I get what I need to get out of the car, walk up the steps, and enter the building with peace and reassurance. I remember that I am dealing with souls, not just brains and hearts, who may need a gentle word or an affirming smile to break through the darkness in their lives. So I put my bag down at my desk, turn on the Smartboard, and wait in expectation for the chance to be salt and light.

Here's to a second semester of deep questions, quality discussion, and challenging reading. Here's to patience, consistency, and a love that does not change based on students' performance. Here's to goodness and mercy making their presence known at our school. I look forward to what awaits us.

"Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats